The Scaffolding of Support

Do you have a support system in place? If so, how important is it to you? How do you use that system? If not, should you have one? How do you get one?

These are questions I ask of myself of friends and colleagues. The answers I receive clue me in to who I am working with, and how far they can go, or I can help take them. Support systems are crucial to our lives. They are our first line of defense against the randomness of life, and the fact that our good fortune can turn bad before we even have a chance to acknowledge what’s going on!

One aspect of maturity is recognizing the ephemeral nature of everyday life. What he have today, whether in material possessions or wealth, knowledge, happiness, love, pain…it can all be gone tomorrow. Or sooner.

We possess, we lose, we grow, we fall, we evolve, we digress.

So What is a Support System?

For me a system of support are the people I rely on to care for me when I need it. And I am not afraid to ask for help or bother someone in my network for a few minutes of their time. I think getting to this level of comfort with oneself is the most important aspect of a support system. What good is a network of comfort if you are too afraid or shy to engage it. One of the great things about my current project and associations is that its challenging me, multiple times a day.

I work with clients who know a lot more about their business and industry than I could ever imagine. They know this, and I know this, but its important for me to be confident enough in my abilities to look at them and say “I don’t know,” in answer to a query. But that trust in myself is what gives me the opportunity to be supported. Often that is the biggest hurdle to overcome.

But not knowing allows me to lower my defenses, accept criticism or help so that I can connect them with my problem solving and creative skills to answer the question correctly.

What is the value of human support?

I like to think of the people in my life as scaffolding and though that might strike you as odd or even derogatory, it’s not. Think of how important scaffolding is to buidlings. Would those top floors be maintained without the proper support? Would the awnings get hung? Would the grime be scraped off?

Scaffolding allows us to do maintenance on ourselves. It allows us the freedom to know that if we fall, there is support below, and that are fall won’t be cataclysmic. It will be brief and hopefully painless, so that we can stand right back up, dust ourselves off and get back to the climb.

The importance of a support system

What is the value of having people in your life that you can rely on? I sometimes find a tension between my need for support and my pride. But that’s just one more tension that modern life foists upon us. Are we trained not to ask for help? Is there something unique about the American persona, wrapped up in Emersonian ideals on self reliance. Have we all bought in to the Horatio Alger story?

The truth is I am nothing without my support system. And I know how to use it. I know who I need to talk to at different intersections I encounter. Business, personal, emotional, physical, psychological. We all have different needs at different times, but I believe that we all try to do too much on our own.

I know that I did, and what would frequently happen would be that I would become burnt out. I would get so overwhelmed by always tackling every issue on my own, that after awhile I simply had nothing left.

If you want to operate at a high level for a sustained period of time, you better start to develop your support system. It will keep you strong, confident and modest.

Image Source: Kevin Dooley on Flickr